We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize
