As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
