My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Randomize
