So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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