Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
