Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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