Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Rumble strips road head = magical
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
