It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
