these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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