you win again, gameday.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
