i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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