I bet he comes in French.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
