I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
