They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
we should paint friendship bongs
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