1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize