they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize