the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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