Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize
