I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
