One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
