What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Randomize
