It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
