She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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