Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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