Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
