I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize