I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
