my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
