is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
