how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
