im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
