He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Randomize