great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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