we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Sext me about skeletons
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
