That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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