Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
