I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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