Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
