Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I have fence marks all over my body
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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