he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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