your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
