i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
