She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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