I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
