ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
