last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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