i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
