i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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