dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Randomize
