i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
