Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize