How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
