so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
