some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
