Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
