Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
