He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
