I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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