he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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